29 June 2013

Left Behind

post signature2010 was one of the hardest years I had been through in my life,  I thought perhaps raising a child on my own would top the list of things I've endured in my lifetime. I have been through a large number of ups and down through out my life that you would think by now I would be used to it, but you never get used to set-backs and disappointments, you dread them like the plague and wish you where never born to go through it all, but the toughest is yet to come.

 At the end of August my almost 3 years of being back in Tennessee will finally be over with, but it doesn't really end there, it continues on, for at this point and time I find that after all I have endured and thinking that things will go great, I find that they really aren't going to go well for me the way I had hoped they would. I will be at the end of August be on my own, without a home, or a job, yes I will be sent packing, the house will be closed up, the man I was a live-in caregiver has been re-located to California to live in a long-term care home, I on the other hand will not be so lucky, and what comes to mind is this, for the almost 3years I have been here I have felt alone, hardly anyone called to see how I was, only on a rare occasion was I in contact with any of my friends, some I have known for over 30 years, even bothered but only twice to contact me, and that was via Skype, I tried to keep in-touch with them but found that they weren't to concerned about how I was or what affects this had on me, they really just wanted to go on with their lives, in fact one of them said that since you've been back there it's almost as if you had died, I just don't think about you that much, WOW anyone hear the slap in the face?

I really thought that I was cared about more than I thought I was, but it just seem to be the opposite. So at the end of August I will indeed find myself living out of a backpack somewhere still in the state of Tennessee. At that point I will have lost everything, the dogs, bird, and all my belongings I had hope to hang onto until I found a job and could move into my own place, but without a job, you cannot pay for things. Not to mention what affect this will have on my son, who is living in Oregon.

I didn't know what forum to post this on, FaceBook, or here and I chose here, because I felt that after all these years that the bloggers I got to know over time would be supportive even though I have only met a few of you in person.

I do not know what tomorrow will bring, and I have prayed till my heads falling off.

Thanks for listening, or reading this, it's not the full story, but you get the jest.


Joyce said...

Okay Glenda, time to pick yourself up and be the strong woman you are. You cannot lose sight of that. Yes you have rotten lemons thrown at you but it's time to find a recipe for lemonade. You have two months to come up with a plan. You are fortunate to have some notice. Now they're not going to help get you back to California? That's where u want to be, right? Bus ticket? There is a way to work this out. You have two months to make a plan. Yes, this is a challenge, but the end is near and there is a light at the end. Do not be defeated. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway. This is what you have been waiting for. Flip your thinking and look at the bright, positive side. Who are you and what are you made of?


I'm sorry to hear/read this....I'll pray for strenght and direction for you! Seek out resources in the area for women. I hope you won't lose your doggies and bird...go forward! Be strong! and know that bloggers to care!

Joanne Kennedy said...

Oh my gosh! Are they really going to do this to you after all you did for them! I am so sorry! I am shocked to hear this. They need to help you get back to CA at least to be with your son until you can get back on your feet. Look for care taker jobs here in CA or there if that is where you want to stay. Put an add on Craigslist. I know lots of people need them and now you can say you have years of experience. Will they at least give you a letter of recommendation?

I'm not sure if they have it there but here if you call 211 they will give you a list of all the places to help you out with a place to stay, food and help to find a job.

Please contact me if you want to talk. I will try my best to think of a place for you to get a job.

My prayers are with you and I DO CARE!


Joanne Kennedy said...

Oh and I would post on FB and everywhere you can think of that you need a job. You never know who will see it and have an idea or a job you can check into.

Jann said...

I haven't been blogging for awhile, but am trying to get back on track--how are you doing, Glenda?

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